"Your pretending to have it all together is killing any sense of identity you have.

You are loosing yourself to hide your imperfections."

This is a quote that one of my friends wrote describing what the Lord was revealing to her in her own life. As I read those words, I felt that the Lord used the revelation he gave her to reveal similar issues in me.

These two statements hit me blindsided...

For the past year, I have been healing of things in my past and it has been so freeing. The Lord has truly been the source of joy in my heart and contentment of my soul. But lately, I have been realizing that part of me feels dead...numb. There is a part of my identity that is not present. I have been feeling this way for awhile now, but not many people would know because I hide it well.

I am a perfectionist and I do not like showing if something is wrong or out of control in my life. I don't want people to feel sorry for me and therefore I pretend that all is just fine...but sometimes this is not true. Sometimes I'm dying inside and my world feels chaotic and there is nothing I can do about it. I feel helpless and I end up loosing myself in the midst of it all....

These statements rang true in my life this past week...I don't want to pretend that everything is okay all the time...I don't want to loose myself, my sense of identity because I am trying to hide my imperfections. The Lord brought others into our lives to "encourage one another.." Romans 1:12 and to carry each others burdens. It's okay to let others know that things aren't always just fine..it brings forth rawness...realness...

I have learned so much by just dwelling on those statements and really allowing the Lord to break me of this idea in my head of "having it all together" or "it's not a big deal." It has been extremely freeing and restoration of my identity in Christ has been set in place again.

so thank you my dear friend for sharing those words...